Day 54: Sacred Bunnies

Whenever I have a bad day, I think bunnies. A good bunny is almost as good as a quaalude. Better, actually. You can drink wine and watch bunnies. Quaaludes don't mix so well with alcohol. Although Roman Polanski might disagree. But bunnies are my sanity. Except that time when MW ran over the cute little white one at work. Really, MW, how fast were you driving in the parking lot? Karma, dude, that's such bad karma. Anyways, I'm thinking bunnies today. Not for me, I have no stress in my life, but for someone else a little more deserving. For other people a little more deserving of the sacred bunny remedy.

In Alberta, the bunnies are big enough to crush you and steal your car AND your purse all at the same time. But somehow still as soothing as the cute little white ones in Ontario. Just don't make eye contact, is all. Albertan bunnies are like the Albertan people out here, cute in the winter with their fluffy winter coats. But when the winter coats come off...things are missing. Body parts. Extremities. Eyeballs. And you realize about then that it wasn't the winter coats that made them look big. They ARE big. Not so cute. I guess the oil patch, -50C temperatures, and harmone injected cows kind of take that genetic band and stretches it to its limits and then lobs off a piece. However, looks are deceiving. I'm getting kind of attached to the gentle giantness of it all. I like my Albertan bunnies.

Anyway, trying to get to the point here, it's hard though. I was going to go out and chase bunnies last night at 2am. Normally I chase bunnies and take pictures of them when I'm stressed. But the roommate stopped me, said I didn't have a flash on my phone camera. He's right. I don't. So I had all my friends forward me bunny pictures from their cell phones this morning. Why? I forget now. There was supposed to have been a moral to this story...

Oh yeah, I remember now. I've recently discovered how easy I've had it all these years, hey, I'm no superhero. In fact, I'm the opposite. I'm like, super idiot. Most of my bad situations have been brought on by myself. Besides my dad's illnesses and passing away, the only scary super-stress moments in my life were 1. When I smoked all that weed in grade 9 and fell down the ravine into the golf course and got picked up by the cops (that wasn't the scary part. I almost missed curfew that night, facing my mom late and stoned would have been the end of life as I knew it), 2. Being arrested in Mexico (and then my Scottish father discovering bargaining at the worst moment ever, but it worked), 3. Nearly getting arrested in Taiwan (no scooter license, apparently I speak pretty good Russian when I need to though), 4. The run-in with the Mexican army (wrong beach, oops), 5. The little CJ I was on going to Mexico one year via Atlanta catching fire (you'd think they would have let us off the plane while they were putting out the fire, though, I was actually just pissed off at that one), 5. E-landing in YMX back in 1990 (nowhere to refuel over the Atlantic, I guess, but you'd think they would have brought enough fuel along for the ride in the first place), 6. Yellow cab dude (I won't get into details except that I refused to go to Madrid and that backpack was really heavy), 7. My dad taking the wrong pass in the alps with a standard transmission (afraid of Swiss people and heights to this day).

That's about it. The rest of the time, I hide my head in the sand or run away. I don't have the passion to go out there and save people's lives for a living. And if someone told me tomorrow that my dating life for the next two months was a committed relationship to an oncologist, I'd be really stupidly pissed off. Like, yelling at strangers from my window kind of pissed off-ness. I don't have passion. I don't have peace. But there are people out there with all of that. They enjoy their jobs helping people. They are at peace with the fact that they, not some other deserving bastard, got nailed with cancer. I think it's time I start finding passion and peace myself, but outside of Margueritaville this time. Then when I finally do get a good reason to be a little stressed out, I can deserve the sacred bunny remedy myself. In the meantime, I'm giving away my bunny remedy to the superheros out there. Thanks for making it real for me this week. I think I might actually have my life under control for once.