Day 47: Out of Control

I was watching Sarah Silverman last night. Omigod. She's out of control. She ended the piece by singing out her butt and one other place I won't mention. That's when I started asking myself, how do I get that bats**t crazy? How come I don't sing out my butt? I think butt singing is an excellent life skill, more people should be doing it. Dude busking on the street corner, singing out his butt. It would totally mix things up on Whyte Ave. And trust me, you need something different, something unique, to separate yourself from the rest when the Fringe Festival comes to town here. Butt singing is just a different flavour of candy during the summers in Edmonton.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Sarah Silverman hasn't gone through life without being fired at least once. The only difference between her and so many other people who wind up in the unemployment line is she just doesn't appear to be the type of person who cares she's there. Imagine sitting in an unemployment seminar with her, we could learn butt singing skills and racist jokes and job interview skills all at the same time. Although it's so much funnier when a Jew denies the holocaust. Not so funny when a German does it. I am half German, by the way, and Germans aren't necessarily the funniest people in the world. Unless you find nuclear physics funny. When I go to visit my cousins, they really don't get my rendition of the muppet show with raw chickens. I heard the word "Verrückt" (crazy?) alot. I thought they were talking about the chicken until we had pork one day. Then I got a little suspicious. Kind of like when I was in Mexico for a while, I just assumed chicken was called locita. I figured out which one was the locita when it was my turn to go to the meat counter to order the chicken for cooking that week.

I think what I like about Sarah Silverman the best is the fact she manages to offend every single race, culture, age, and religion. She doesn't discriminate. One of life's most important skills, more important than butt singing, is pissing off the entire world. You're never going to please anyone, so why not just make everything an entire disaster and write about it. So that's what I'm going to do. But first, to the bottle depot. There is nothing like a good argument with a hobo first thing in the morning.