Day 41: Having My Cake. And Eating It, Too

I like cake. I like eating cake. Why can't we have the cake, and then eat the cake too? I don't understand. I have cake all the time, and I eat it all the time. Am I the only one that has cake and eats it? Is this some sort of freakishly difficult thing that only I can do? I guess I am THE cake-eater then. Can I put this on my resume? Will I finally get a job by putting this on my resume? "Name: Joanne, Location: Edmonton, Experience: Having cake and eating it". Yeah, I think that will work. I'll try it.

Things work out. Things will work out. I tend to over-analyze everything, starting the day off in lala land singing the scene songs for WKRP or Peewee's Playhouse but then spin out of control by early evening. It's good entertainment. Going to start selling tickets, "doors open to Insanity - Live at 5pm, only at Remedy Cafe". Ultimately, what you think and what I think and what is actual reality are all entirely different animals. It's just all a bad Britney Spears concert, nothing really syncs up. It makes for a little bit of insecurity. In fact, Jobhunting is alot like dating. Too much like dating, actually. The initial meeting is hell - "Do I smell good?" "Can I continuously form sentences in order to complete this conversation or do I have to get steaming drunk in the bathroom?" "Are my eyes diulated? Do I look high?" "Am I high? Were the cookies I ate for breakfast from the right cookie jar?". If you make it past the first meeting, the second meeting is a little better. However, your still running to the washroom to check your pupils and being somewhat concerned that your Karl Marx material didn't get the reception you were hoping for. By the third meeting, and this is the meeting we wait an eternity for, something happens that makes or breaks it for you. It's really not a good time to have alcohol on your breath on the third meeting, even though it's the time when you need that bottle in a paper bag the most. You will be judged on the third meeting without a doubt. It's the Academy Awards of your career or love life. The winners are already picked, but anything you do now will just reinforce any faint notions they already have about you. Fall down the stairs, break the chair, do whatever. They already either think your an idiot or think your a god at this point.

How does this all fit in with the cake-eating theme? I really don't know. Choose your cake carefully and avoid all the chaos? No, that's not it. The most random cake choices are the best. Stick to your usual cake choice so as to know what to expect? No, that's really bad advice, that's just boring and "I'm going to be a Walmart greeter and eat myself into a coma with Little Debbie cookies". No no no. The best advice is, eat lots of cake, and just enjoy it. In the end, we figure things out.