Day 19: Not Feeling the Love...

Yeah. Not feeling it. Got some hate mail yesterday and I'm particularly sensitive when I'm lucid (between the hours of 1pm and 4pm). There are some things that are best unsaid. If your frustrated with where I advertised my blog and what I'm advertising on my blog, keep that to yourself, okay? Hate mail just gets you blocked from using these sites yourself. I'm not going to respond to, "you are a retard". I wouldn't have a nice response for that and that would get me blocked from these sites, as well. And make me as mature as a 5-year-old, "yeah, and your mother is a prostitute". So, if you like me, support me and become an official follower. If you don't, than don't and shhh. Let a girl try to market her skills. This blog was originally meant for me to blow off some steam. But I like writing, and I've totally got plans of being unemployed long-term, so stick with me, maybe I can sell myself to a newspaper one day and you can say you read me first. Or just sell myself. Then you can say...uh, no, you can't. That's just rude. Whatever it comes down to, life is a journey, right?

So today is all about me. Well, everyday is about me but I'm going to start making some demands here. I know there's about a 100 of you out there reading my blog. Please sign up as an official follower. This way, I can prove that people are reading me and help me sell a year of work written online and sitting in boxes for $300. You got it. $300, my future does not look too good. Also, on my blog page you'll see ads everywhere. That's on purpose. I make money on those when you click on them. If you see something you like, click on it, your supporting my cause. The ads are selected by Google and are computer generated by key words, it seems when I mention Brie cheese there is an ad placement for "counting calories" by the next day. It's a new game for me. That's why I'm trying to say "prostitute" as many times as possible in today's blog. I want to see what they come up with. It's like a word association game gone bad. I like it.

As for the jobhunt, I find it difficult answering some questions by the $10/hour, 20-year-old HR assistants calling at 9am in the morning, "Why do you want to work for our company?". The only answer I can come up with is, "I don't. I just thought I was doing you a favour by applying.". Or "Why did you leave your last job?". I'm like, "Well, I didn't. They let me go. But they really didn't give me a reason why. I just assumed it was because of the fire." Or "What type of wage are you expecting to make?". Oh, come on!!! It's not like we're buying a shark tooth necklace on the beaches of Mexico, "How much money are you willing to give me?" Or, "Are you working now?" Do you really want an answer to that? "If you don't see it on my resume, there's a good chance whatever I'm doing is illegal and I don't want you to know about it.". My favorite is, "What type of experience do you think you have that is similar to this position?" How about, "I'm used to working in small cubicles, answering phones to irate customers, and covering up for managers who don't bother showing up for work. I also believe my defensive driving skills will allow me to show up for work everyday nearly on-time, even when I'm completely hungover in the mornings." Read my resume! I know your computer program already has or it wouldn't have told you that I was a suitable candidate (wouldn't expect an actual human to make that decision, that would be crazy), but maybe you should just read it over before calling me to make sure I'm not a small furry animal knawing on a tree stump. Anyways, I haven't made it past the phone interviews yet.

So dudes, Happy Friday, Happy long weekend. Whether your employed or unemployed, Fridays and long weekends are still the best. It's an extra day for the unemployed to justify their (deserved) alcoholism and for the employed to get let out of their cells for an extra day. Keep your pants on, it's cold out there.