Day 20: Nothing Says I Love You Like "we'll extend your unemployment benefits"

Ah, the day before Valentine's Day, what better day to reflect on all the things that you love. And for me, nothing says I love you like "we'll extend your unemployment benefits". That has to be the best love letter I've ever received in my entire life (Hallmark should pick up on this one). Wiping a single tear of joy from my face, I vowed that I will be a student for the rest of my life to keep my beloved unemployment. There is no place like home. Or the university campus coffee shop and gym.

I've always been good with the big stuff, major change seems to be like a drug for me. I just get frustrated tying my shoes everyday. Do we even need shoelaces? Can't we just replace all things that tie with zippers? A world without laces, that would be a perfect world. I've probably already mentioned this, but bootlaces were one of the major reasons I had to quit the reserves. OCD hell, I tell you. We had 5 minutes to get ready in the mornings on training weekends, but I just never had enough time to do up my laces. It could be raining bombs and bullets outside, but I am NOT giving up my shower for ANYTHING or ANYBODY. I'm not going to leave it to chance that I could be resuscitated by some army dude while unshowered or unshaved. Or some hot army doctor having to amputate my unshaven leg. So the bootlaces were neglected and tucked and whatever you do to make them look like they're tied in 5 seconds. And of course, I'm marching and my bootlaces started flying around and I just couldn't take it. Looking back, I'm surprised I even made it past the psychological evaluation. It was probably the last passing psychological evaluation that I'll ever have. I dream of toilet paper most nights. But I'm good with all that. Life is always more exciting when your certifiably nuts.

So change is good. Shake it up, dump that boyfriend or husband or girlfriend or wife, put the kids up for adoption, quit that job or get fired, tell your boss his head looks like a tennis racket, be nice to the gas station dude (you need him), fill up, and just go. I say if it's broken, don't even bother to fix it. There is nothing like driving off into the sunset with your broken windshield and barely functioning brakes. Until you hit, what is it, Crows Nest pass or Revelstoke pass? Yeah, I'd probably stop for the night before hitting either of those. And maybe wait until spring. Change is always better in April.