Day 24: The Reckoning

A lady to be reckoned with. I liked that comment (Day 23). It might of not been meant as a compliment, but I took it as one, anyways. Thank-you. Not getting alot of compliments these days so I have to kind of make nothing into something. I've been getting comments the past week like, "I think people might actually be laughing at you, not with you". Not so much a compliment, is it? Okay, one comment. Just one! But one that sits in your brain and explodes days later when the person is nowhere to be found. It meant nothing to me at the time but now I'm like, "oh yeah, well, your mother is UGLY!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH". Kaboom. It's really an aneurysm just waiting to happen. I just sit on my front steps now in the mornings and yell this at the kids going to school and the homeless dudes. Makes me feel a little better. I can't very well go yell at the person that said it to me. There was a traffic circle involved and I'll never find the house. It's not the same doing it over the telephone, either because they can hang up and you can't throw stuff at them. I like to throw stuff even when I talk, makes people pay attention and follow the conversation more closely. They never know when that chicken wing is coming straight for them, and I aim for the eyes.

For the record, I'd prefer to be the one that people laughed at because laughing with me means I'm likely laughing at someone else. Kind of cruel. Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally against laughing at others, it really does makes me feel good to make someone else look like an idiot. And I especially like to hang out with ugly people who dress badly, too. That always makes me feel like a rock star. But sometimes it's good to give back to the world and make other people feel better about themselves.

As for the lingerie issue, no, prostitutes aren't the only ones that spend that much time and effort before leaving the house. On top of the cost of lingerie, there's also a mandatory 2+ hour bath, hair, and makeup session. So if you call me and be like, "Hey, lets go out for dinner", dinner better be 3 hours from the time you called or I'm not going to even attempt to give up my real estate on the couch. So now your thinking I'm crazy and obsessive and not all women do that. Yes, they do, and if they don't, then your going out with a crazy haired, red-faced girl with half a sandwich stuck to the side of her face. The sandwich is somewhat obvious, but just in case you miss it because you haven't had a date in a while, look for the crazy hair and red face as well. It'll be there.

I "reckon" I'd better do some jobhunting. I noticed a whole bunch of ads on my blog here for jobs in Calgary/etc. The ads are kind of like the sandwich stuck on the side of the girl's face. Pretty obvious for some people, not for all...