Day 62: What a Drag

I'm not sure if it's PMS or if I'm just plain psychotic, but this unemployment status is really dragging me down. I feel like just grabbing someone in a uniform and stealing their life. And to be honest with you, I wouldn't want to give them my life in return. Holy depression!!! I want drugs for this. My concoction of alcohol and other various products is not working.

I've just applied for every job from Iqaluit to the east coast today. With my luck I'll get the job in Iqaluit. I guess I just need to work, that's a strange need, I always thought retirement would have been my dream. There is something about being around people that we need, isn't there? I was devastated Sunday/Monday,nobody seemed to have time for me, soft plans and last minute cancellations seemed to be the only thing I had to hang on to. It seemed kind of sacrilegious partying when everyone else is out visiting family, going to church, and working overtime. But, what else can I do? Is going home to Ontario the best thing to do? What am I holding onto out here? I kind of want to steal someone's family too, I really do need 2 of them. I want to have an Alberta family and an Ontario family. I think the best way is to just walk into someone's house, sit down at the dinner table, and start talking about my day. It worked well enough when I lived in Taiwan. I always got fed there, and always had first dibs on the fishheads and chicken claws.

Lets see what this week brings. I had a list to stay on track, and then I lost the list. In fact, I don't think I've ever made a list and not lost it almost instantly. I hate grocery stores because of it. People hate me in grocery stores because of it. I think I'm meant to just fall through life with no idea what to do or what is happening. It's confusing sometimes, and a little scary at the moment. I don't even remember if I have toilet paper. That's a 2am disaster just waiting to happen. Hopefully I have better stories tomorrow.