"We continue to develop new menus and programs to meet the needs of a growing population of seniors, chronically ill and others who require meal services to regain, maintain or improve their health."
Thanks for the suggestion, dude, but it appears that I'm healthy. I managed to chase down a rabbit today and eat it. I also chased down a guy in a cowboy hat but I didn't eat him. I just wanted to let him know that I didn't like his hat.
Moving on, Meals on Wheels needs to diversify. I find the only time I am hungry is when I've drunk copious amounts of alcohol. I'm assuming everyone else feels the same way. So, in order to need Meals on Wheels, breakfast needs to consist of a bottle of the martini of the day if the housebound client doesn't already have a keg installed into their kitchen counter (one day, one day I'll have a home. and that home, that home will have a kegger, under the counter, delivering icy cold beer to everyone in need) and eggs, eggs wrapped in bacon. Then dipped in butter. Okay. Forget the butter. I'm done with butter.
I did jobhunt today. It wasn't pretty. I began to froth at the mouth near the end. But I will prevail. Besides, Friday through Sunday are the best days to jobhunt. Your resume will be at the top of the pile. As you already may know, what the HR computer program doesn't chew up and spit out, the 20-year-old HR assistant making $12/hour will read but only up until lunchtime on Monday. Lunchtime, by the way, is at 10:30am. And they start work at about 10:00am. It takes about 3 minutes to go through a resume from the top of the pile and realize that this person is a douchebag, so 3 x 10 = 30 minutes. 1 out of 5 resumes are competition. So basically, your competing with 1 other person if you apply for jobs Friday through Sunday. It's sound logic. Trust me. If you applied for the job on Monday through Thursday, your totally hosed.
At the Rem and drinking a Hog. trying to convince the cook to do Meals on Wheels for me. Indian food for breakfast. Yum. Happy Weekend...
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The solution is obvious! Smash your kneecaps with a hammer. They'll heal eventually and in the meantime you can get meals on wheels. You're on your own though if you decide you like it and want to permanently disable yourself, although I do have an axe and a chainsaw you can borrow.
ReplyDeleteOr the less self-inflicted violence ridden option would be to start a hungover meal delivery service. I'll take some greasy piece of meat with some cheese and bacon on it, stat! And shit, you might as well throw a side of butter in there for me too.
Your dark, man.
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