First of all, ban unsalted butter. People who eat butter should be not worried about their salt consumption. Baking should also be banned or at least called by it's real name, butter dipped in sugar and coated in chocolate. This way, timeless recipes such as bacon-wrapped butter or butter dipped bacon aren't discriminated against. Lets pay homage to butter and stop with the lies, slice ourselves a nice piece of butter and celebrate.
Yup. Haven't left the apartment yet. No, haven't applied for jobs yet. Yup, eating butter for breakfast. And I'm not using the toilet. That's what they expect me to do.
Second of all, I have nothing. Really, I don't. I've really just been drinking. Definitely humpday for the unemployed. You can smell us coming in the malls. The denial of having a beer for breakfast, the realization that the wait time for the fifth department that Roger's has transferred you to is causing a small tumour on the side of your head (kind of weighs you down, my head will always be hung to the side now, slowly becoming the hunchback/goiter image of the unemployed), and the reality that you actually have to leave your apartment and go to the mall to cancel your internet to pay for your alcoholism(I can steal internet from anywhere, I have no idea why I bought the internet stick to begin with) or your car insurance (your basically too drunk to drive when your unemployed and if you do end up driving drunk, there is no point having car insurance because your ass is going to jail anyway. Kind of like jumping off a 3-story building with a parachute, it's not going to stop you from landing on the neigbhor's car)
No, didn't apply for jobs. Lay off. But I copied and pasted a kickass resume off the internet today. I'm no doctor, but really, how much skill does it take to prescribe pills that make you impotent or make you kill yourself anyway?
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